Sky Under My Skin
by graffy
Summary: She's the one friend you can't stand to lose.


**Title:** Sky Under Your Skin  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairing:** Rachel/Puck  
**Disclaimer:** If I owned Glee, Puck and Rachel would just be making out the whole time.  
**Author's Note: **The bolded and italicized words are lyrics from the song First Time by Lifehouse

* * *

**_we're both looking for something we've been afraid to find  
it's easier to be broken, it's easier to hide _**

The first time you throw a slushie straight into Rachel Berry's face, it's an accident. An honest to God accident. Your mom had made a stop at the 7-11 that morning to pick up some painkillers for her hangover, and you got a cherry slushie as a consolation prize for not talking too loudly in the car. Walking down the hallway, you lifted the cup to your mouth, wrapped your lips around the edge and took a gulp. It was as you lowered your arm that senior and first string QB Jason Calvert grabbed your elbow and shoved with all his might. Your projectile slushie slammed into Rachel Berry's face, dripping into her shocked expression. Her eyes opened, meeting yours, and the disappointment there stuns you momentarily.

Your fellow jocks cheer you on, and you know you've found your niche. You'd just made the Varsity football team, one of two freshman to do so, and there was no fucking way you were gonna damn your reputation by apologizing. So, you smirked at her and continued down the hallway, remnants of your slushie sticking to your fingers.

The sadness in her eyes haunts you for weeks.

(Who are you kidding? It still haunts you.)

000

_** looking at you, holding my breath  
for once in my life, i'm scared to death  
i'm taking a chance, letting you inside **_

The first time you hear her sing, you get goosebumps. Afterwards, you feel totally gay because really? Who gets goosebumps listening to some chick belt out a song about a dude with a rainbow jacket, or some shit?

Maybe it was just a momentary chill. Like, maybe your window was cracked open and the wind was really cold for a second there.

Just to make sure, you go through the rest of her myspace videos. And watch every single one of them. All the way through.

(It wasn't your window. It was her.

It's always her.)

000

**_maybe i'm wrong; i'm feeling right where i belong  
with you tonight, like being in love to feel for the first time_**

The first time you touch her, your hands burn for hours afterwards. You'd like to say it's because you've got Berry germs all over you and God knows what kind of freak is on you now. You'd like to say it's because her mutant must have rubbed off onto you. It was an accident; you couldn't help it.

Which is what you tell everyone.

It's total bullshit, by the way. She spun the right way, Finn spun the wrong one, and his fucking knuckle dragging arms swung into her and sent her flying. You could say that you just happened to be there, and she bumped into you. But it wouldn't be the truth, and you've been a bad enough of a Jew already that you might as well admit the truth to yourself.

You made sure that you were between Rachel and the ground. Your natural impulses were to save her midget ass, and your hands wrapped around her upper arms and hauled her against you. Her tiny hands splayed against your chest, and she looked up at you from beneath her eyelashes, stunned. A smile graced her lips, and her thank you went unspoken.

You scoff, push her away gently, and tell her to watch where she's going.

(That night, you dream about all the ways you could have kissed her in that moment.

You feel like a douchebag when you wake up.)

000

_** the world that i see inside you, waiting to come to life  
waking me up to dreaming, reality in your eyes **_

The first time you dream about Rachel, you wake up with a hard on.

(There's no truth to spill here. You were really fucking hard and wanted her so badly, you threw an extra large slushie in her face that day, just for good measure.

But not before jacking it in the shower before you go to school.)

000

**_looking at you, holding my breath_**

When you kiss Rachel for the first time, it's like all your sexual experience flies out the window, because after two minutes of making out, your cock is harder than rock and your grinding yourself against her like you're fucking fourteen again. She rolls the two of you so she's on top, and she's rubbing herself against you, moving ever so slightly and you legitimately almost come in your pants.

When she stops and sits up and stutters that she can't do this, you feel so god damn pissed that you'll be left with blue balls, courtesy of Rachel fucking Berry. You didn't even get to touch her boobs.

(You're more angry that you're pretty sure she was thinking about Finn.)

000

_**for once in my life**_

The first time you sing to Rachel Berry, she practically molests you afterwards. She grips the collar of your shirt and drags you backwards into an empty classroom, locking the door behind the two of you. She hops up onto the teacher's desk and pulls you to stand between her legs, which lock around your waist while she kisses the shit out of you.

You might not get to touch her boobs, but she lets you grab the hell out of her ass.

(It's pretty fucking awesome.

This time, you do come in your pants,only her small hand is wrapped around your cock. It's not too embarassing, since she comes on your fingers with her mouth gasping your name against your neck.

You'll deny it if anyway ever asks, but it's the hardest you've ever come. Ever.)

000

**_i'm scared to death_**

The first (and last) time you break up with Rachel Berry, you go home and sit on your bed, staring at the window in your room.

(You keep hoping she'll climb through it.)

000

**_i'm taking a chance_**

The first time you talk to Rachel after the truth about your daughter comes out, you don't actually get to talk to Rachel. It's more that you talk _at _Rachel, because she refuses to talk to you. Her shoulders are hunched, fingers tangled in her hair, and you know she's crying because of the wet sniffling noises that she makes occasionally.

You kneel in front of her, trying to get her to look you in the motherfucking eye, and grasp onto her legs with all your might, and demand she listens to you.

(You beg. You almost cry. Your voice even cracks, almost worse than that time Kurt's did during that song that one time. She won't listen to you and it's killing you because if you're honest with yourself she didn't become your friend after your "break up"…she became your best friend. And seeing how angry and disappointed she is with you is killing you.

She's the one friend you can't stand to lose.)

000

**_letting you inside_**

She forgives you. Eventually.

It's the first time you cry in front of her. In front of anyone.

000

_**we're crashing into the unknown**_

The first time you realize that you're head over fucking heels for Berry, it's because of Finn and his fucking inability to control his hormones.

You know some shit's about to go down when you pull up to her house and Finn's car is parked out front. It's been a few months since Babygate, and while you and he aren't best friends like you used to be, you're on your way there.

But you're still really pissed when you see his fucking car in front of your girl's house.

(Okay, so she's not your girl. Yet. You're working on it.)

Her dads let you in, no problems. No questions asked. You creep up to her room as silently as you can, silently thanking God that her door isn't closed and that you can still see the both of them. You hide out of sight, watching.

Rachel's always been too nice for her own good, and she seems to be instructing Finn on how to move his big ass feet so that he didn't crush every single toe within a seven mile radius. From what you see, she's just being a teacher, not responding to his come ons with anything other than a short smile. But Finn's always been a dumbass, so he sees those smiles as invitations.

Your knuckles crack when you clench your fists, watching Finn bend down and suddenly kiss Rachel. You're all set to charge in and tell a motherfucker who's boss, when her small hands shove the oaf away with more force than she should have. She stares at him, and shakes her head.

You're too god damn happy to listen to the long speech she gives him about just being friends.

(You're still smiling when you walk into her room, slinging your arm across her shoulders. Still smiling when Finn glares at you. Still smiling when her fingers tangle in the hand you're dangling next to her collarbone.

Still smiling when Finn leaves her house, slamming the door on his way out.)

000

**_we're lost in this, but it feels like home_**

The first time you hold your daughter is the second time you cry in front of anyone. Rachel is pressed up against you, trailing her fingers across the light brown fuzz on your baby's head. Little baby Anna yawns, and clenches her fingers when Rachel drags a nail over her hand. Her giant blue eyes blink up at you, and she makes a small grunting noise when one of your tears lands on her red cheek.

Your arms are still shaking when you hands your daughter over to her adoptive father.

(The difference between you and Mr. Schuester is that he's not afraid to cry in front of everyone the first time he holds his new daughter. The man is practically bawling.

You save your crying for later, when you're lying in Rachel's bed and she can run her fingers through your mohawk and sing you to sleep.

It doesn't hurt so bad, since you know Mr. Schue won't hide your daughter from you. But it still hurts pretty fucking bad.)

000

**_ i'm feeling alive all over again  
as deep as the sky under my skin_**

The second time you kiss Rachel "for the first time," you can't help it. You'd just come home from serving detention, and was in a fucking foul mood. One that disappeared when you saw Rachel playing Happy Homemaker with your mom and Sarah. She's got flour on her cheek, and she's beaming up at your mom, who looks happier than you've seen her in years. Sarah's munching on carrots (by the way, what the fuck? Sarah never eats anything that doesn't have chocolate or cheese on it. Rachel's a fucking miracle worker.)

Your mom gives you a wink and a pat on the head, dragging Sarah with her out of the kitchen, whispering that she's going to let the two of you have alone time. Your ears burn red with embarassment and you scowl.

The mean look drops off your face as you see Rachel's huge smile. Your lips quirk up, and you brush your thumb over the flour on her cheek. And fuck, the way she looks at you, the way her eyes seem to soften when you touch her, you can't help yourself.

(You almost forgot how good it felt to kiss her.

And how good it felt to feel her come around your fingers.

…your kitchen's a fucking mess.)

**_like being in love, she says, for the first time_**


End file.
